Saturday, April 24, 2010

Understanding Men

Women's magazines have been rehashing this topic for decades.

Men are really simple. They are on the same continuum from childhood to maturity that we are on, they just slide back and forth faster. Appealing to a man's sense of being childish and to his manhood are key to being an interesting woman.  Being interesting is far more important than being beautiful.
 Ask Scherezade.  OK she had both., but  interesting far outlasts beauty.
Each man is unique, however they have one thing in make you happy. Don't think so? Reread Mars and Venus. It's all true. When you are happy, he is happy. When he thinks he could be the one to make you happy, he thinks long term. Do I have your interest?

Don't be shy. Let him know the things that will please you. I know I do, and I am much more likely to get them when I don't turn a relationhip into a guessing game. If you want to go out for a nice dinner, ask him to plan dinner that has a tablecloth. That may be his routine, or may be an adventure, at least you will get what you want, and that makes him happy.

Give praise liberally for everything and anything he does that pleases you.

Show Appreciation.

 Nothing is more powerful.

This is not because we learned this in psych 101, it is because it is his fuel. Find something you sincerely admire or like about a man, and make sure he knows you like it. Your sincerity will show, and  will be very attractive.

Show your pleasure, inside and outside of the bedroon. Telling him with words is important but your body language will tell the truth. Do not underestimate the power of a great smile. Practice if you have to. Women who are naturally happy people usually have great smiles. Watch and learn. If you are ashamed of your smile due to dental problems, fix it. Don't let that stop you from finding or keeping happiness. Make sure you capture this great smile for your internet profile. It is inviting, and shows a potential partner that you can be pleased.

Nothing is a bigger turn off, or relationship killer than a man who thinks nothing he can do will please you. He will give up and move on, whether he is still with you or not. Men will vanish emotionally, and distance themselves from unhappy, chronically complaining women. Listen to yourself. If you sound like a bitch and moan session, you will reap its rewards. Save it for your girlfriends, who will tell you to stop when they can't stand you. Your partner will just withdraw.

Praise, and compliments and attitude are everything.

 When you have something negative to disclose, make sure you do it as a sandwich. That means an opening statement of affirmation, stating the problem, and a closing statement of confidence the issue can be solved because of his importance to you. That is a helpful way to express all of your feelings, wishes and desires without damage.

Example: You really don't like the way he shrugs off household chores.

Honey, I love the way you make me feel special when we go out. We each agreed to certain chores around the house and I feel sad when you don't gets yours done because we are a team. I know we can work this out. What do you propose?

That is a way of expressing negative emotion that is not destructive. Very important.  I feel...........when you...........because.............. fill in the sandwich.

Make sure you initiate sex from time to time. This keeps things fresh and interesting. Don't ever allow this part of your life fall into a rut. It is crucial to appealing to him on a most important level.

So, things are pretty simple. You Go Girl!

No comments:

Post a Comment