How do you know if your hormones are working?

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The uterus is stupid.

It just does what hormones from the ovary tell it to do.


The ovary makes estrogen every day from follicles (eggs) and when the egg pops ( ovulation ) the crater in the ovary where the egg used to be is now called the corpus luteum, and that makes estrogen and progestrone.


The ovary in turn is told what to do by the pituitary gland, which is in your brain. Oh, now I see the connection! The pituitary makes Follicle Stimulating Hormone to recruit an egg each month. It then makes
Luteninzing Hormone to stimulate ovulation.


You thought we were done? NOPE


The pituitary gland is regulated by the hypothalmus. That is an area in the higher brain which pulses out one hormone, GNRH, or gonadotropin releasing hormone.


If you have regular monthly periods, all of this complicated system is in working order. You don't need a blood test to tell you that.


Hormone testing is usually rarely done, even in menopause. No eggs, no estrogen, no message to pituitary. Pituitary screams back. No answer. If you don't believe your body not having periods after age 50 with hot flashes, a test of pituitary function will tell you what you already know.
Hormones are also a moving target with huge ranges of normal. Ever get a result that says normal but you don't feel right? That's the issue.


Any questions? Place a post.


until next time....................

Tales from the Clinic

OK, every job has a few tales to tell about strange things that have happened.
Here are a few of mine.

Friday a patient comes in to see a colleague. She is worried that the rotisserie chicken she ate has a tumor inside and she is "infected " with cancer. She brings in the chicken carcass for my colleague to inspect in a tupperware container. What do you do with this? Send her to the Health Dept, or show her someone forgot to gut the chicken before roasting? True.

A woman tells me she has trouble with her vaginal hormones.They are are tiny white pills that are on an six inch applicator with a half inch plunger tip. They are pre loaded. You are supposed to insert the pill into the vagina. She says she places the pill at the entrance to the vagina and they fall out. In fact one fell out in a parking garage the other day. It seems this grandmother wasn't wearing any panties. A man looked down and saw the pill ( that had now plumped up from being near but not quite in her vagina) and
bent down. He picked it up and asked her if it was a marshmallow. True. Remember your mother told you not to pick up food from the floor. That's why. I told her the applicator is meant to go into the vagina more than an inch. She said "Ohhhh".

The nurse tells a woman to disrobe and put the gown on over her head. I go into the exam room to see a woman stark naked with the gown wrapped around her head like a turban. OK, now I am supposed to remain cool. I nearly peed my pants while I grabbed a drape sheet and covered the woman.

I come into the exam room. A woman has two  blue exam gloves covering her feet. Her toes are nicely placed into each finger. She looks like the Penguin from Batman. She says she doesn't like anyone to look at her feet. She wore flip flops with her outfit. Go figure.

I can't wait till Monday.

Until next time....