Saturday, July 31, 2010

Good Sex Bad Sex No Sex

My colleagues asked me to enlighten them about the buzz surrounding

The new drug shot down by the FDA , and the upcoming testosterone gel for women, currently in trials made headlines about this complex topic.

As every gyn knows, this is a daily concern for women. Are they sexy enough? Once they have a partner, how come they don't want to have sex as often as they once did? Why after 43 years of marriage, don't they want to have sex like the first year of marriage? Their partners complain, or have retreated into quiet resignation.

Research shows us that normal women have spontaneous sexual thought about 2-4 times a month. Comparing that with men, its no wonder that we are left to think we are abnormal. We are just different.It is rare that we are allowed to just be, and allow sexual thoughts to creep into our conciousness. We require sexual triggers to get us "in the mood" more often.

Men are like an on off switch.

If there is an opportunity for sex, they are ready. Women are like the control panel of a 747. A bit more complex. The link above is a good reference and explanation of female sexuality. The female sexual response cycle has been remade a number of times, since Master and Johnson's work in the 1950's. Orgasm used to be the height of female sexual response, and the goal of a sexual encounter. Since women are a bit more complex than men, it seems now that concept has backed off a bit to include the emotional connection women desire.

OK then, if that's the goal, and men want physical sex, then why don't we get it? Have more physical sex to get more emotional connection to your partner! Most women tell me it is not their idea to have sex, but once they get started, they respond. Rebuking a partner rarely gets him to be more connected to you.

OH MY! We may have hit this jackpot.

And now you know the secret to being in a couple.

Make sure your man knows the sun rises and sets in his pants,
and you will be a very happy woman.............:)

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