Monday, May 17, 2010

The Moving Van Cometh

This one is a personal post. I moved. Just a few block, but the effort was the same. I moved from a house with all of its attendant rooms, closets, garage and patio space to a condo. Now I wanted to do this, don't get me wrong. It was deliberate. I keep reminding myself I wanted this. The pain, the pain, the PAIN.
Packing was strung out over several months, so I would have time to throw out or get rid of all kinds stuff.
Now all of that stuff comes with memories, but I did find out that I own five cookie sheets. Where were they hiding? Were they breeding in the kitchen without permission? Had I mindlessly purchased more? Who gives cookie sheets as a gift? I must have purchased them over the last 30 years, surely.

Now there is an enormous box containing shoes that needs to be opened. I am thinking of just letting that one sit a bit longer. The closet space I now occupy is already crammed full just with clothing. Not to mention the hats I couldn't part with, nor the fifteen purses in all sizes, shapes and colors.I still have my wedding dress. And the crinoline it came with. That is going to Goodwill asap. I can't use up the space. Even if I do cry for two days and eat a pint of ice cream.

So I couldn't help but wonder ( to borrow a phrase from Carrie Bradshaw) why we attach ourselves to things. Why we impart them with emotional tags and memories that are difficult if not impossible divest.. It seems to me that as women we collect, nuture, grow, and then graduate our loved ones, and the little bits we keep become too dear.After a reasonable time on this earth that pile of memories becomes a burden. We turn a corner and start leaving the bits behind, like pioneers about to face the Rocky Mountains. Tossing away our treasures as the burden of holding on to them makes it untenable. It is, I suppose, another link in the chain of life, preparing us to give up our selves at the time of death.

What endures? Memories, feelings, and the knowledge that we did what we could.

until next time................

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